Date:Wednesday April 5 2006
Crewe travel to Selhurst Park a week on Saturday in a fixture which will hopefully still be of significance in Crewe's fight against relegation. Selhurst Park isn't a particularly attractive ground, to say the least, though its appeal lessened significantly upon my discovery of the inflated £30 ticket prices. This seemed strange, especially in light of a recent article by Simon Jordan in The Observer, in which he states, 'If you pay to watch Palace v Crewe it’s £20. To watch us play a top side, it's £30.' It appears highly unlikely that Crewe have suddenly become a ‘top side’, who command Category A prices, leaving several explanations for the as yet unexplained categorization of this game. The most likely explanation appears to be that Palace see their penultimate home game of the season as an opportunity to make some money in order to ease the financial afflictions as a result of their relegation from the Premiership. Crystal Palace are unlikely to correct their dishonest categorization, reflecting badly on them as a club, and typifying the dishonesty of chairman Simon Jordan.
Jordan blames footballers’ wages – which he agrees to pay when he signs the players – and stayaway fans for the costly ticket prices. His “simple maths”, appears a bit confused, with his justification of his ticket prices somewhat implausible. Jordan claimed, “Real Madrid is cheaper than Chelsea: £28 for an adult and child compared to £90. Why? The Bernabeu holds 80,000, Stamford Bridge holds 43,000. It's simple maths. If Selhurst Park held 80,000 and I knew I was going to fill it every week I could charge £5 for an adult. But it doesn't: we hold 27,000, and it never fills.” By Jordan’s calculations, Crewe’s ticket prices for home games – which are currently the cheapest – should be one of the division’s most expensive as we get the 2nd lowest attendances.
Jordan’s troubles with Crewe stem back to comments made by the usually pragmatic Crewe boss Dario Gradi. Gradi criticised Jordan in an interview for dismissing managers so readily after a period where Palace had 5 permanent managers in the space of 3 years. Jordan retorted angrily, as has come to be expected, with his most recent tirades directed towards Alan Pardew, David Dein, David Sullivan and David Gold, amongst others. It would be perhaps wise for Jordan to acknowledge that he is a columnist for The Observer before commenting, “If you feel you need to intervene - in the dressing room or in the papers - you've already let it go too far.”
I’ve attempted to ensure a degree of rationale in this article, attempting to avoid an all-out tirade on Simon Jordan, or in other words, lowering myself to his level. I’m sure Palace fans love him, as do Chelsea with Abramovich and many others, but no other sugar daddy fulfils such an arrogant portrayal as Jordan.
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